I have always faked orgasm with men

A lady says she has never felt any thing for any man, now that is really mysterious.Read below
 I‘m going through my second divorce from a man I married in the native law and custom way.
I have two daughters by my first husband and one by my second. I went straight from my second husband into another relationship. My current boyfriend is divorced and has three children. He’s besotted with me but I feel nothing for him. I want to be on my own, not stuck in a relationship.
I’m never honest with myself or the man I’m with. I’ve never had an orgasm with a man – I’ve always faked it. Also, although I’m a loving mum to my girls, I know I’m not setting them a good example by having these relationships.

I lost my mother at the age of 16 and my dad lives in another state. I have no sisters or brothers, just friends. I feel such a bitch. I lead men on and once we’ve slept together, I don’t want to know. Please help me pull myself together and break this habit. It’s not fair on the kids or the men. I feel like a horrible person.